Grim Reaper Week: Favourite Quotes from The Charley Davidson Series by Darynda Jones!!

Hey there guys!

Let's continue the celebration of Grim Reaper Week and what better way to do so that to give you all a few teasers about the series in the shape of some of my favourite quotes? Emma is gonna be in charge of reviewing books for you guys, so don't forget to go check out her blog HERE and I just want to remind the fans of the series of how outrageously funny Charley is, and how otherwordly sexy Reyes can be! And if you guys haven't checked the series, maybe one of the quotes will make you want to give it a try!

Ready? here we go!

First Grave On The Right

“My fore-parts, as you so ineloquently put it, have names.”

I pointed to my right breast. “This is Danger.” Then my left. “And this is Will Robinson. I would appreciate it if you addressed them accordingly.”

After a long pause in which he took the time to blink several times, he asked, “You named your breasts?”

I turned my back to him with a shrug. “I named my ovaries, too, but they don’t get out as much.”
― Darynda Jones, First Grave on the Right

 

“I pointed in the general vicinity of my left ovary, "This is Beam Me Up." Then to my right. "And this is Scotty." Garret chuckled and buried his face in his hands. He asked.”
― Darynda Jones, First Grave on the Right 


Second Grave On The Left

“Make it quick," I said when I picked up.
"Okay. Two men from the FBI are here." Cookie said. Quickly.
Crap. "Men in black are at the office?"
"Well, yes, but they're actually in more of a navy."
Crapola. I so don't have time for men. In any color. "Okay, two questions. Do they look mad, and are they hot?"
After a long, long, pause, Cookie said, "One, not really. Two, no comment at this time. And three, you're on speakerphone."
After another long, long pause, I said, "Okie dokie then. Be there in a jiff.”
― Darynda Jones, Second Grave on the Left

  “Cookie dropped her purse and tried to catch it midair. In the process, she knocked over a vase. When she lunged for the vase, she slipped on the tile and overturned an entire table. A lovely handblown piece of glass flew in my direction, and all I could think as I caught it was, Really? Again? We were going to have to practice muscle control.”
― Darynda Jones, Second Grave on the Left 


Third Grave Dead Ahead

“Hey, boss. Where are you?” she asked.
“I just picked up something to eat. What about professional belly dancers?”
“Um, I don’t know, maybe with horseradish.”
― Darynda Jones, Third Grave Dead Ahead

  “At first, I could lie about my lack of sleep and she'd fall for it, but she started suspecting insomnia when I began seeing purple elephants in the air vents at the office. I knew I shouldn't have asked her about them. I thought maybe she'd redecorated.”
― Darynda Jones, Third Grave Dead Ahead 


Fourth Grave Beneath My Feet

 “I should’ve known the day was going to turn out bad when it started with my father trying to kill me”
― Darynda Jones, Fourth Grave Beneath My Feet

  “For one week, all I could think about was drinking margaritas--well, that and running my tongue along Reyes's teeth--but I didn't have salt--or Reyes's teeth. I'd also lacked the energy to leave my apartment to get some--or the desire to stoop low enough to beg Reyes to let me lick his teeth after what he did--so I could only wish for a margarita. And dream of Reyes's teeth.

I'd secretly hoped a margarita would magically appear in my hand, but that would mean I would have to put down the remote, and God knew that was not going to happen.”
― Darynda Jones, Fourth Grave Beneath My Feet 


Fifth Grave Past The Light

 “I started to put my phone back in my bag when Ozzy yelled out, his accent so thick, I was only half certain he said, "Where the foock are ya goin'?"

Uncle Bob jumped. I must've turned on my GPS.

"You have to tahn the foock around. You're in the middle of foockin' nowhere."

"What the hell is that?" Uncle Bob asked, almost swerving off the road.

"Sorry, it's Ozzy." I grabbed my phone and turned down the volume. "He's so demanding." I pushed a few buttons to turn off the app, then put the phone to my ear. "Sweet, buttermilk pancakes, Ozzy, you have to stop calling me. You're a married man!" I pretended to hang up, then rolled my eyes. "Rock stars.”
― Darynda Jones, Fifth Grave Past the Light

  “How would you like your eggs?"

I tried. I really did. But I glanced at his crotch and it came out anyway. "Fertilized?”
― Darynda Jones, Fifth Grave Past the Light 


Sixth Grave On The Edge


“Reyes. Alexander. Farrow," I said.

Seconds after I spoke his name, Reyes walked into his bedroom, and I looked across the open space directly from my room into his.

He waited for me to continue.

"I feel like there's something missing from my bedroom."

A dimple appeared at the corner of his mouth. "You don't say."

"Any idea what that might be?"

He glanced around my room as well, then shrugged. "I can't imagine."

"Oh, wait," I said, stepping from my room into his, "wasn't there something here? Like, I don't know, a wall or something?"

He looked up. "You could be right. I do seem to remember a barrier of some kind here."

"Yep," I said, stepping closer, "I definitely remember a partition separating our apartments." When his only response was a mischievous tilt of his full mouth, I asked, "Where did you put my wall?"

He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against his doorframe. "What makes you think I took it?"

"It was there this morning."

"And that means I took it? Maybe you just misplaced it. Where exactly did you see it last?"

I pressed my lips together. "You tore down my wall."

The smile he wore could've charmed the panties off a nun. Completely unrepentant, he admitted, "I tore down your wall.”
― Darynda Jones, Sixth Grave on the Edge

  “You can't trust anything on the Internet."
"Can, too," I said, completed offended.
"So, if I posted a comment saying I was an Arabian prince from Milwaukee?"
"Yeah, but you're a big fat liar. You don't count. I mean, look at your dad. Pathological liar numeral uno. Lying is in your genes."
He leaned forward. There's only one thing in my jeans right now.”
― Darynda Jones, Sixth Grave on the Edge


And because why not and the excerpt wasn't nearly enough, here go also a pair of quotes from Seventh Grave and No Body!

“I often question my sanity. Occasionally, it replies.”


 “If I’m upset, hold me and tell me how beautiful I am.

If I growl, retreat to a safe distance and throw chocolate.

— BEST. ADVICE. EVER.”

 Well guys, I hope you enjoyed reading those quotes at least half as much as I did picking them!

And don't forget to enter the INTERNATIONAL giveaway we have running till next week!!

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Mark This Book Monday: Hyperbole and A Half by Allie Brosh!

Today's Mark This Book Monday is a recommendation from a fellow blogger (thank you, P.E.!!) and is not part of any challenges! Still is a book I highly recommend for everyone!


Hyperbole and a Half: Unfortunate Situations, Flawed Coping Mechanisms, Mayhem, and Other Things That Happened by Allie Brosh

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


This is a fantastic book, and I really must thank P.E. from the blog The Sirenic Codex for the recommendation and the review she wrote about this book, it made me buy and read it as soon as it arrived in the mail! Not only that, I'm packing it with me in my trip to India and I plan to push the bf to read it too!

Hyperbole and a Half is a book born out of the author's blog, and it is full of silly drawings and very deep themes, most of them made more tolerable but not less heartwrenching because humour always helps. The author has a self deprecating humour sometimes that makes it easier to smile about some rather tough situations. Her way of describing depression really made me reflect on it much more deeply than I would have expected.

There were some extremely hilarious moments with the dogs, and the one with the goose really had me in stitches!

This is a fun book that needs to be read by absolutely everyone! It's cute, adorable, funny and it makes you think (and even cry, depending on your emotional state). Very well deserved 4 to 4.5 stars!



View all my reviews

Waiting On Wednesday #15!

Waiting On Wednesday is a weekly feature hosted at Breaking The Spine  that spotlights those can't-wait-to-get-my-hands-on-them books that we are eagerly awaiting!

The book I'm quite excited about this week is the new installment in the Discworld series: Raising Steam by Terry Pratchett!!

Goodreads summary:

"To the consternation of the patrician, Lord Vetinari, a new invention has arrived in Ankh-Morpork - a great clanging monster of a machine that harnesses the power of all the elements: earth, air, fire and water. This being Ankh-Morpork, it's soon drawing astonished crowds, some of whom caught the zeitgeist early and arrive armed with notepads and very sensible rainwear.

Moist von Lipwig is not a man who enjoys hard work - as master of the Post Office, the Mint and the Royal Bank his input is, of course, vital... but largely dependent on words, which are fortunately not very heavy and don't always need greasing. However, he does enjoy being alive, which makes a new job offer from Vetinari hard to refuse...

Steam is rising over Discworld, driven by Mister Simnel, the man wi' t'flat cap and sliding rule who has an interesting arrangement with the sine and cosine. Moist will have to grapple with gallons of grease, goblins, a fat controller with a history of throwing employees down the stairs and some very angry dwarfs if he's going to stop it all going off the rails..."


Why am I eagerly awaiting Raising Steam? I am a HUGE fan of Terry Pratchett  and his Discworld series! And althought my fave books there are the ones that involve either the witches or the Night Watch, I can't wait to see what twist is he giving the coming of the train to Anhk-Morpork!

What are you all (im)patiently awaiting this week?

Mark This Book Monday: Discworld Series by Terry Pratchett!!

A new week has arrived, with a fresh new Monday and with a new recommendation to feed your mind, and entertain it!


Today I'm introducing you to a series that will keep you giggling and entertained for quite a long time. After all, the Discworld series has nearly 40 books already! The 39th to be published this October.


You might be thinking that a series comprised of so many books can be too daunting to even try to start, or that it would get boring and dragging for so many books, but I can assure you nothing is further from the truth!

First of all, as its own name reflects, it's a series of books based on the Discworld (a flat round world, riding in the back of a giant turtle, supported by four elephants, yeah, you read that right), but they are not the kind of books you need to read one after the other, they're actually divided into different story arcs, so they can be grouped into smaller series if you may, and even so, each book can be read as a story on its own, though of course, there are references to previous novels here and there. Here is a lovely scroll where you can see what I mean, and also, you can check the Wikipedia article (but be warned, there are spoilers!).






So far, I've read all the Night Watch novels, except for the graphic novel "Where is my Cow?" and by checking the Wikipedia article, I just got excited since the next novel to come out, it'll be a Watch novel! Sam Vimes, Captain Carrot and the rest of the Watch are, so far, my favourite set of characters. Sam Vimes, his Excellency, is a copper, an old style copper, not the brightest one ever, but one that is hell bent on doing what's right, and has no regard for politics. Captain Carrot is a six-foot-tall dwarf, and the Watch as an equal opportunities policy, so there are dwarves, werewolves, zombies, vampires and even a Nobby Nobbs. Also, a very present character in this books is Lord Vetinari, the tyrannical ruler of Anhk-Morpork (the biggest city in the Discworld). I'd recommend you start with them, the first novel being "Guards! Guards!".


My second fave series so far are the stories featuring Death, yes, the anthropomorphic personification of death, and his interesting family. Yes, Death has a family. Even though Death appears in almost all books in the Discworld series, with his speaking in CAPS, there's a series where we meet his adopted daughter, his apprentice, his butler and his granddaughter. Oh, and Death is quite partial to cats too. Lots of irony and lots of comedy in these books. The first one of this arc is "Mort".


I've also read on of the "Ancient Civilizations" books, called Pyramids, that for an Egypt & history fan & an atheist like myself, was absolutely hilarious! If you want to try a book that is not part of a bigger story arc to see if you like the writing style and the general feel of the entire series, I recommend you start with this one.


Starting now with the Wizards & Rincewind series, I've read so far three of the books, "The Colour of Magic", "The Light Fantastic" & "Sourcery", and I've also started reading "Eric". So far, they're also a lot of fun, but the wizard characters are changing quite often, since wizards ascend in the hierarchy by stepping into their dead predecessors empty shoes, so there's a certain short life span for wizards of certain ranks.


Also, I've just started reading the Witches arc. I'm really digging this books too, cause even if they're about witches, and witches do magic, it's not all about crazy mumbo jumbo, but more about headology and common sense, and well, magic when you just have to. So far I've read "Equal Rites", the first book, and I'm half way with "Wyrd Sisters".


As you can see, I fairly like this series, it's chock full of references to world history & events, fantasy books, superstitions, fairy tales, and even Shakespeare! They're the kinda books that make you giggle and laugh out loud; and one of our fave parts when G & me are reading them, is reading hilarious passages to each other from whatever book the other is reading. Terry Pratchett really is well deserving of being Sir Terry Pratchett.


Wossaname and Music With Rocks In It!!